Strikhedonia

This one is a particular favourite, meaning the pleasure of being able to say "To Hell with it".

I'm going to start with a little bit more shameless plugging (expect to see a bit more of it in this blog), but this week, I bought a long-overdue set of earphones thus reviving the usage of my iPod (I'm not advertising the earphones or the iPod, but I bet you're on the edge of your seats, waiting to see what amazing little treat I'm about to uncover). While sorting through my music library, I found an album released only last year, that is a strong favourite of mine. A surprising underdog, since I'm not a fan of American pop-rock, but the 2010 album Crash Love by A.F.I (short for A Fire Inside) is a fantastic album.

Music can be interpreted in many different ways, and this is just my interpretation of the lyrics, but this album tells the story of a failing relationship between, presumably, frontman Davey Havok and his partner. The album begins by starting with Beautiful Thieves and End Transmission, through which the relationship is progressing through happier times. The beginning of the end continues through Too Shy To Scream with pessimistic lyrics such as "I die, if you only met my eyes before you passed by. Will you pause to break my heart?", but expressed through a rather upbeat, cheeky punk-rock style. Next in the line-up of the nose-diving relationship comes Veronica Sawyer Smokes, a song in which Davey sees his partner, presumably the titular Veronica Sawyer, sharing a cigarette with a young man. He does, during this particular song doubt his own visions and interpretations but is still, understandably, hurt. In the successing Okay, I Feel Better now, Davey has finally realised that his partner has been, from what has been inferred thus far, cheating on him. He has realised and appears to be in a state of emotional numbness. He acknowledges that he has been wronged and no longer offers sympathy to Veronica. In Medicate, the album's leading single, Davey is now in a state of resentment and accepts that "you were never mine". The album continues through a path of spiralling through the inevitable resentment and anguish associated with the end of an infidelity-ridden relationship, through Sacrilege, and Darling, I Want To Destroy You, before coming to a somewhat unfinished end through Cold Hands (my favourite, above Beautiful Thieves and End Transmission) and It Was Mine, where Havok has reached the state of indifference, but hurt, accepting that he wants nothing more to do with his former partner.

I know that was in pretty great detail, but it really is a fantastic album, beautifully focused and impressively written. Cold Hands, my favourite track on the album, begins with a strong punk-rock guitar/bass line, progressing into a lighter, alternative-metal bridge and chorus, utilising even what sounds like tubular bells in the background. On the album as a whole, Havok gives an award-winning performance as A.F.I's frontman and vocalist, while guitarist Jade Puget delivers some mind blowing solos, Hunter Burgan performs some of his best bass work since Miss Murder and last, but certainly not least, Adam Carson smashes out his trademark skilled percussive work.

This is already a long blog post, but since I have to wait until Sunday night before I can start writing the next one, I'm allowed to make this one a little bit longer than the other two. I'll keep it related though. Because I'm just that good.

Relationships are funny things. People always complain about the hurt associated with them, and I can empathise. I've been in emotionally abusive relationships, adulterous relationships, and even polyamorous relationships. While the latter was my own fault, the other two were painful. In the former of the two, you're left feeling weak and unable to break free of the relationship, essentially binding yourself into a vicious cycle. I was helped through them with friends who helped me gain back the confidence to break free. In the latter, it was the worst pain I've ever felt. There is no other pain like it. And I mean that with the entirety of my being. Needless to say, in most cases, infidelity will be the end of a relationship, since it breaks the trust and, by extension, the foundation of the relationship. And without a foundation, the rest crumbles around you. (I told you these blog posts would become darker and darker).

So, a real question is; why do we allow ourselves to become so vulnerable to a person? It's simple. While the feelings described above are the worst I've ever felt, there is no feeling in the world that comes close to how amazing the feeling of love is. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know I'm a soppy little git. Relationships and love are essentially just a glorified game of chance. And the stakes are higher, but if you win, you've got one of the most incredible things you'll ever find in life. If you lose, it hurts, but you can always try again.
Now, I'm not saying that relationships are all just luck and chance. You have to work incredibly hard at a relationship (Yeah, I'm in a mature relationship (That's not to say that I myself am mature. I still laugh at the word "poop" (Hehe))), and you have to make big sacrifices. But once you've got that part sorted, it will truly make your life. But in true cynical fashion, I will leave with a quote from the one Friedrich Nietzsche:

"Ah women; they make the highs higher, and the lows more frequent."